Windows of Opportunity
What an amazing five days I have had! Very busy, very minute to minute with no time to spare. Training for two days in Lexington, in constant company of someone. I absolutely needed just a couple of hours of "Me" time. So I unplugged.
I managed to read a book in those two hours. Ha! I can't believe I did it, but the subject matter is my passion. Young people. Particularly, how to raise up those young people that don't know they can soar.
I had the wonderful privilege of seeing Doc Brown's presentation about how to nurture young people and how to succeed ourselves. The man is awesome! He has delivered this presentation thousands of times, I'm sure, but he managed to keep us all engaged and entertained while also giving us that "He's talking directly to me" feeling. I felt such a connection to him and his story that I couldn't wait to talk to him.
I bought this book and another one titled, Championship Habits. I've read Real Talk already. :) It's not a long book, and I devoured it, hanging on every word, ear marking those fantastic quotes I can't wait to share. My favorite at this moment, "When we pretend that certain young people are invisible to us, they internalize this opinion and do not feel bound to the rules and regulations set forth by schools, parents and society-at-large. This dynamic can also open the door to dangerous affiliations with gangs and drug culture." What a profound and simple observation that is absolutely the truth. In a big way. Reminds me of the quote from "Pretty Woman" when Vivian is talking to Edward about how she grew up and she says, "Sometimes the bad stuff is easier to believe." Basically handing them permission for self-fulfilling prophesy.
A child believes about himself what he is told. They are little sponges ready to soak up whatever they are taught. Adults, not just the parents...neighbors that assume that child will be a chip off the old block, teachers who sigh when they see the younger brother of a troubled student walk in the door, the clerk at the store who is put on alert when a young lady walks in the door that "looks" like trouble, and the children of those adults who learn to judge and treat with disregard if another's appearance isn't what they are use to or "should" be...we are all responsible for our next generation. We've lost the ability to feel like we have anything to offer. We have lost the village mentality. Minding our own business. Refusing to look around and see who might need relief of overburden.
I was listening to NPR the other day and coverage of the Trevon Martin case was on as they announced that George Zimmerman would be charged with second degree murder. I want you to throw out what you DO know about that case for a second. Erase your opinion of right and wrong with it. This is where my mind wandered as I listened. A neighborhood watch program in place is a good thing. Brave and service minded individuals that step up to protect and watch out for their neighbor. Now imagine that you are the one that shot someone. ((Remember, I'm not reviewing THAT case, just a generic hypothetical one that is based on real events.)) Okay, back to you with a gun in your hand. Your heart is racing, the bad guy (or girl, let's be equal) had a weapon. The bad guy is crawling through a window of an elderly female neighbor you know to be disabled and when they discovered you spotted them, the individual reached into a pocket and pulled out a gun. You fired your weapon to protect yourself. Now the frenzy begins. There's an investigation, a media frenzy, racial profiling is said to be a contributing factor in the shooting. The entire country has an opinion about who is to blame.
I'm wondering how many people yelled at their televisions or discussed over an open newspaper, "And THAT'S why I keep to myself and don't get involved!"
It seems we have adopted this "Not my problem" mentality when it comes to the world around us, but when we need help or something happens, we cry out that no one cared to lend a hand. We act so afraid to step up. No wonder some young people feel left behind. I admit...reading this book has forced me to admit, actually, that I am just as guilty of this pass of judgement. Any readers that live in my neighborhood know what I'm talking about. We pass judgement, make assumptions about the futures of those around us, but have any of us attempted to reach out? I know I haven't.
I'm not saying that we need to be the "Afterschool Special" speakers in those situations, use some common sense...but maybe I won't avoid eye contact with them next time I see them. Maybe I will strike up a conversation that might lead to a chance to make an impression. Maybe. But I need not forget that I also have two little boys that depend on us to model behavior and practices that will produce compassionate and caring men when they are grown. Remembering to channel God's love to all that we come into contact with. Even Jesus dined with whores and thieves. What gives ME the authority to snub anyone? What a terrible way to show my light. (Okay, that last part there was random, but relevant. LOL. Gimme a break, I'm exhausted.)
So, here's my challenge...look around you. Be watchful. Don't make yourself obvious or creepy, geeze it would suck to have the cops called on you for 'suspicious behavior' LOL...but lend a smile or a kind word to a young person you would have avoided or just not really seen previously. You have no idea what is going on in the mind of the person you connect with, however briefly.
*******************************************************************************
Somewhat off topic here....Anthony and I had dinner at Family Buffet in E'town last night and as we chatted and ate, I was acutely aware of the little family behind me. A Mom, Dad and small child. I was moved by the Dad's voice to his child. Very gentle and patient the whole time. And you can tell when that kind of voice is forced by the way the child reacts to it, this family was absolutely at ease with one another. I wasn't hushed so I could hear, it's just something that I guess I am trained to listen for in my work that I can pick it out now in crowds. Dad's choice of words, his praise when the child ate something new, his description of what the child had on the plate, "That's lobster! Lobsters live in the biiiiig ocean and they swim and swim...you like to swim, too, don't you?" :) I was so impressed! When we were done, Anthony had no idea I'd been listening but I warned him that I was about to do something...I got up, turned around and leaned over that family's table and told the Dad that while I wasn't 'spying' I heard his conversation with his family and that I worked with families in my work. I told him, "I just wanted to tell you that I think your child is SO lucky to have you as parents, you guys are so awesome with your conversation and it's so neat to hear parents talk to their kids the way you have talked to yours." He had this big smile on his face and thanked me and said back, "I appreciate that. I love my kids, they are really pretty awesome." As a parent myself, I know I love it when people compliment my kids' achievements. It's the only 'job' a person will doubt their abilities to the point of insanity on a daily basis, so it's nice to hear you have done something right. That Dad's face was lit up and it made me feel pretty good to have given him that joy.
Well, that's my post for today, raw and unedited....Back to being unplugged and silenced. Peace & Love to you all! :)
I managed to read a book in those two hours. Ha! I can't believe I did it, but the subject matter is my passion. Young people. Particularly, how to raise up those young people that don't know they can soar.
I bought this book and another one titled, Championship Habits. I've read Real Talk already. :) It's not a long book, and I devoured it, hanging on every word, ear marking those fantastic quotes I can't wait to share. My favorite at this moment, "When we pretend that certain young people are invisible to us, they internalize this opinion and do not feel bound to the rules and regulations set forth by schools, parents and society-at-large. This dynamic can also open the door to dangerous affiliations with gangs and drug culture." What a profound and simple observation that is absolutely the truth. In a big way. Reminds me of the quote from "Pretty Woman" when Vivian is talking to Edward about how she grew up and she says, "Sometimes the bad stuff is easier to believe." Basically handing them permission for self-fulfilling prophesy.
A child believes about himself what he is told. They are little sponges ready to soak up whatever they are taught. Adults, not just the parents...neighbors that assume that child will be a chip off the old block, teachers who sigh when they see the younger brother of a troubled student walk in the door, the clerk at the store who is put on alert when a young lady walks in the door that "looks" like trouble, and the children of those adults who learn to judge and treat with disregard if another's appearance isn't what they are use to or "should" be...we are all responsible for our next generation. We've lost the ability to feel like we have anything to offer. We have lost the village mentality. Minding our own business. Refusing to look around and see who might need relief of overburden.
I was listening to NPR the other day and coverage of the Trevon Martin case was on as they announced that George Zimmerman would be charged with second degree murder. I want you to throw out what you DO know about that case for a second. Erase your opinion of right and wrong with it. This is where my mind wandered as I listened. A neighborhood watch program in place is a good thing. Brave and service minded individuals that step up to protect and watch out for their neighbor. Now imagine that you are the one that shot someone. ((Remember, I'm not reviewing THAT case, just a generic hypothetical one that is based on real events.)) Okay, back to you with a gun in your hand. Your heart is racing, the bad guy (or girl, let's be equal) had a weapon. The bad guy is crawling through a window of an elderly female neighbor you know to be disabled and when they discovered you spotted them, the individual reached into a pocket and pulled out a gun. You fired your weapon to protect yourself. Now the frenzy begins. There's an investigation, a media frenzy, racial profiling is said to be a contributing factor in the shooting. The entire country has an opinion about who is to blame.
I'm wondering how many people yelled at their televisions or discussed over an open newspaper, "And THAT'S why I keep to myself and don't get involved!"
It seems we have adopted this "Not my problem" mentality when it comes to the world around us, but when we need help or something happens, we cry out that no one cared to lend a hand. We act so afraid to step up. No wonder some young people feel left behind. I admit...reading this book has forced me to admit, actually, that I am just as guilty of this pass of judgement. Any readers that live in my neighborhood know what I'm talking about. We pass judgement, make assumptions about the futures of those around us, but have any of us attempted to reach out? I know I haven't.
I'm not saying that we need to be the "Afterschool Special" speakers in those situations, use some common sense...but maybe I won't avoid eye contact with them next time I see them. Maybe I will strike up a conversation that might lead to a chance to make an impression. Maybe. But I need not forget that I also have two little boys that depend on us to model behavior and practices that will produce compassionate and caring men when they are grown. Remembering to channel God's love to all that we come into contact with. Even Jesus dined with whores and thieves. What gives ME the authority to snub anyone? What a terrible way to show my light. (Okay, that last part there was random, but relevant. LOL. Gimme a break, I'm exhausted.)
So, here's my challenge...look around you. Be watchful. Don't make yourself obvious or creepy, geeze it would suck to have the cops called on you for 'suspicious behavior' LOL...but lend a smile or a kind word to a young person you would have avoided or just not really seen previously. You have no idea what is going on in the mind of the person you connect with, however briefly.
*******************************************************************************
Somewhat off topic here....Anthony and I had dinner at Family Buffet in E'town last night and as we chatted and ate, I was acutely aware of the little family behind me. A Mom, Dad and small child. I was moved by the Dad's voice to his child. Very gentle and patient the whole time. And you can tell when that kind of voice is forced by the way the child reacts to it, this family was absolutely at ease with one another. I wasn't hushed so I could hear, it's just something that I guess I am trained to listen for in my work that I can pick it out now in crowds. Dad's choice of words, his praise when the child ate something new, his description of what the child had on the plate, "That's lobster! Lobsters live in the biiiiig ocean and they swim and swim...you like to swim, too, don't you?" :) I was so impressed! When we were done, Anthony had no idea I'd been listening but I warned him that I was about to do something...I got up, turned around and leaned over that family's table and told the Dad that while I wasn't 'spying' I heard his conversation with his family and that I worked with families in my work. I told him, "I just wanted to tell you that I think your child is SO lucky to have you as parents, you guys are so awesome with your conversation and it's so neat to hear parents talk to their kids the way you have talked to yours." He had this big smile on his face and thanked me and said back, "I appreciate that. I love my kids, they are really pretty awesome." As a parent myself, I know I love it when people compliment my kids' achievements. It's the only 'job' a person will doubt their abilities to the point of insanity on a daily basis, so it's nice to hear you have done something right. That Dad's face was lit up and it made me feel pretty good to have given him that joy.
Well, that's my post for today, raw and unedited....Back to being unplugged and silenced. Peace & Love to you all! :)
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