Leaves and Changes

4/27/12 was when this was first drafted…Publishing on 9/25/23 to get it out of my drafts.

I've been watching from the sidelines as relationships end, friends part ways for one reason or other, and marriages are fading away. Losing someone we have a bond with, no matter how close or not,  in whatever way is sad and there is a grieving process, regardless. And watching from the sidelines is not easy. Being objective is difficult. You want to save the relationship, but understand you aren't in it, therefore...walk a mile in my shoes...you get the idea.


I know a family who is Muslim and I will never forget the answer I got when I asked, "What's the most shocking thing about us Americans you have observed."  


I don't think she even thought about her answer, it was that quick.

"Everything here is disposable, and marriages seem to be the most thrown away."


Stunned I thought about it. She was right. Look at the marriages/ divorces in the paper. I bet it's 50/50 most of the time. That's a sad reality. 


Just like surviving a terrible accident or health scare makes you thankful you are alive, watching these events can have the same effect. Watching someone's relationship fall apart, has a similar effect, in that you look at your partner and appreciate them more. You begin to imagine *your* life without your life partner. Being in love, this thought can hurt deeply. But as relationships go, no one just up and decides, "Okay! This was so fun. Let's stop while we're ahead." Without any feelings involved. Quitting someone cold turkey is difficult. Especially when you didn't see it coming. For the other one, though, there must have been a slow fade involved. By the time the end comes, one has already left. The other stands on the porch while the door closes and the light goes out. So they leave. This doesn't mean both sides aren't hurting. But one is sure to feel much worse at the end because of the suddenness.


Like I said, watching can be difficult. Makes you think about your own house. 


I find myself touching my spouse more. A hand on the arm. Reaching over and putting my hand on his chest at night. Hugging him without reason or in very random moments. I just don't want him to feel like I don't appreciate him. I want him to FEEL that I love him. The way we came together ((YAWN!! I *know* some of you have heard this story before, so I'll skip it. LOL)) is too strange a coincidence and the moments (Those "Touch" moments! A-ha!! There's the living proof that that tv show is based on real theory!) that led up to our getting together are just enough of a story to make us WANT to stay together. Aside from the fact that we do love each other and vowed til death do us part. There are rocky times, but we've managed to get through that.